An Illi­nois man who was busted on charges of dri­ving while intox­i­cated decided to com­pound the D.U.I. by com­mit­ting a P.U.I. – by pee­ing on the jail­house door as he was leav­ing the build­ing.  Keith Klein was in cus­tody for about 30 min­utes while he arranged bail and filled out paper­work for the drunken dri­ving charge, but he appar­ently couldn’t hold back his stream of unhap­pi­ness, and let loose against the door in full view of a sur­veil­lance cam­era. The offi­cer who hauled him in the first time walked out and brought him back for an encore in the hold­ing cell.

A Florida woman who was tak­ing a stab at drug smug­gling was arrested along with sev­eral accom­plices after a traf­fic stop in which she admit­ted to hid­ing a hypo­der­mic nee­dle filled with opi­ates in her bum bum! Cops pulled over a car dri­ven by Jor­don Greus because it had faulty brake lights, and found him to have cocaine hid­den inside his pros­thetic leg, while the three women rid­ing along with him all had ille­gal stashes of pre­scrip­tion pills in their pos­ses­sion. Alexis Clancey, who had pills in her wal­let, was sub­jected to some sharp ques­tions by an offi­cer on the scene and admit­ted that she had cho­sen a heinous hid­ing place for the more seri­ous nar­cotics before pulling out the nee­dle to turn it over to the cop.

tool bagA Florida man who called cops to report a theft of his work tools ended up behind bars him­self.  Nathaniel Lee Smith phoned in the report, say­ing that his crow­bars, a skull cap and a back­pack were miss­ing, describ­ing them per­fectly enough that cops were able to find all the items right where he left them…at the crime scene where he’d dropped them ear­lier that day. When inves­ti­gat­ing offi­cers told him they had the exact items he’d men­tioned, Smith cracked and con­fessed, say­ing he dropped the items after one of his vic­tims sprayed him in the eyes with win­dow cleaner. He faces charges of bur­glary and kidnapping.

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