An Illinois man who was busted on charges of driving while intoxicated decided to compound the D.U.I. by committing a P.U.I. – by peeing on the jailhouse door as he was leaving the building.  Keith Klein was in custody for about 30 minutes while he arranged bail and filled out paperwork for the drunken driving charge, but he apparently couldn’t hold back his stream of unhappiness, and let loose against the door in full view of a surveillance camera. The officer who hauled him in the first time walked out and brought him back for an encore in the holding cell.

A Florida woman who was taking a stab at drug smuggling was arrested along with several accomplices after a traffic stop in which she admitted to hiding a hypodermic needle filled with opiates in her bum bum! Cops pulled over a car driven by Jordon Greus because it had faulty brake lights, and found him to have cocaine hidden inside his prosthetic leg, while the three women riding along with him all had illegal stashes of prescription pills in their possession. Alexis Clancey, who had pills in her wallet, was subjected to some sharp questions by an officer on the scene and admitted that she had chosen a heinous hiding place for the more serious narcotics before pulling out the needle to turn it over to the cop.

tool bagA Florida man who called cops to report a theft of his work tools ended up behind bars himself.  Nathaniel Lee Smith phoned in the report, saying that his crowbars, a skull cap and a backpack were missing, describing them perfectly enough that cops were able to find all the items right where he left them…at the crime scene where he’d dropped them earlier that day. When investigating officers told him they had the exact items he’d mentioned, Smith cracked and confessed, saying he dropped the items after one of his victims sprayed him in the eyes with window cleaner. He faces charges of burglary and kidnapping.

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