Paranoia at it's best


man in trunkHigh­land Beach Police said an offi­cer pulled the red Mit­subishi over for speed­ing and searched the area when he saw there was no one inside. Police then saw the vehi­cle take off speed­ing so was pulled over a sec­ond time. They said the vehi­cle again appeared to be empty. How­ever, after about 30 min­utes, an offi­cer spot­ted Max­i­m­il­ian Andrew Schroeder hid­ing in the trunk. Schroeder was charged with flee­ing and mar­i­juana and drug para­pher­na­lia possession.

 A Geor­gia woman who des­per­ately needs a refresher course in the Ten Com­mand­ments was arrested after steal­ing a Bible from a Barnes and Noble!  Ash­ley Flem­ing walked into the store and tried to stash the Good Book in her bag. A secu­rity guard took note of the trans­gres­sion and turned the woman over to the cops, who charged her with mis­de­meanor shoplift­ing.  A local pas­tor said she could have avoided doing penance if she sim­ply came by to ask for a copy

Los Ange­les Police Chief Char­lie Beck said a man came to the week­end gun buy­back event with a home­made pipe bomb and told offi­cers he had orig­i­nally planned to use the explo­sive to blow up the Hol­ly­wood sign! The man “told the offi­cers in the line that he had spo­ken to God that day, and God no longer wanted him to use that bomb to blow up the Hol­ly­wood sign, now he wanted him to turn it in,” Beck said. “This is not a pipe bomb buy­back, this is a gun buy­back,” he said. “Pipe bombs are ille­gal to pos­sess, ille­gal to man­u­fac­ture.” The man, whose name was not released, was arrested.

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