Pineapple pileup

A Jer­sey City, NJ, ware­house worker some­how survived—and never even lost consciousness—after being buried by 1,500 pounds of
pineap­ples yes­ter­day. The 39-year-old was in sta­ble con­di­tion last night, the Star-Ledger reports. Other than call­ing it an “indus­trial
acci­dent,” the paper had no fur­ther details on what caused the pineap­ples to fall.

 Scott Simon, unin­ten­tion­ally dialed 911 while still froth­ing with rage over a late-night dis­pute at a Waf­fle House in Florida. In the record­ing, Simon is heard say­ing that he intends to fol­low the man he was argu­ing with to his house and shoot him. That man, Nicholas Walker, was indeed shot and killed mere min­utes later, while he was pulling his car onto I-95. Simon was arrested, and while police don’t think he actu­ally killed Walker, he’s been charged with first-degree mur­der because they believe he orches­trated the hit. “This is a first for me,” a police spokesman said. “Crim­i­nals say crazy things all the time, but I’ve never seen any­one call a recorded line.”

Store employee Kristie Asplin says a woman whose name was not released, kept ask­ing her to go to the store­room to retrieve items she had on lay­away, and when Asplin finally agreed, the gal made a break for it. Asplin says that she gave chase because “adren­a­lin kicked in” when she saw that a $500 bag was miss­ing. As she was in pur­suit, she watched as the thief’s jeans fell to the ground – reveal­ing that she’d gone com­mando that day and of course drop­ping the thief to tfreeze-dried-pineappleshe ground.   

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