Quit monkeying around!


Oompa Loom­pas Louis Geli­nas and Matthew Wright, who were decked out in green wigs and orange face paint for a night on the town, downed a few too many Gob­stop­pers and ended up drunk­enly chal­leng­ing two other men to a fight – because they didn’t like the way the other guys were dressed.Wright was sen­tenced to 10 months behind bars, while Gali­nas got off with com­mu­nity service.

Two Wash­ing­ton Sheriff’s deputies arrived to a call of an assault and found a woman in her bed, bloody, with two knives and a sword with a bent han­dle near her.  Because they found no signs of forced entry, deputies began to sus­pect the woman’s 13-year-old son and his 14-year-old friend. When they went to the home of the friend, the father reported that his Dodge Durango SUV and keys were miss­ing, which matched an ear­lier hit-and-run report. They found the Durango run­ning with the keys still in the igni­tion, crashed into a mobile home. The department’s canine unit helped find the teens, which had been hid­ing nearby.  Accord­ing to a state­ment from the Spokane County sheriff’s depart­ment, “The victim’s 13-year-old son blamed his thought process on his drug usage and said he would never do any­thing like that sober.” The teens have been charged with assault, bur­glary and other crimes. Mean­while, the mother was hos­pi­tal­ized in sta­ble condition.

gorilla knockingA Ten­nessee man was taken into police cus­tody after he went bananas and tried to hunt down the pack of goril­las he thought had invaded his prop­erty! The man, whose name was not released, called 911 to report that the beasts were about to break into his house, but the dis­patcher thought he was just mon­key­ing around and tried to calm him down. The coun­sel­ing didn’t work, and the man dropped the phone and grabbed his shot­gun instead. After hear­ing shots fired, the dis­patcher did send out an offi­cer, who found the man sit­ting in his recliner hold­ing the gun – which he’d used to blow sev­eral holes in his own door – but no sign of gorilla pres­ence. He was taken in for a men­tal evaluation.

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