Running baaaare...

Running baaaare down the sidewalk….
Two border patrol agents in Arizona are under investigation for coming up with their own sentence for a group of drug smugglers. Agents Dario Castillo and Ramon Zuniga are being investigated on civil rights violations for their actions, which prosecutors say were particularly dangerous because the men were forced to flee naked in nearly freezing desert temperatures while highas kites becacause the agents made them eat all the dope. They probably didn’t feel anything anyway! The agents also set fire to the alleged smugglers’ belongings to cover up the incident.

Now, that’s some HOT lingerie!
A woman in upstate New York got hot under the collar after being banned from a Victoria’s Secret store for shoplifting, so she decided to heat things up for the store manager. Lauren Jackson ruined more than 60 thongs, bikinis and hip-huggers causing nearly $750 in damages by pouring a vat of chili over a rack of underwear! She might have gotten away with it, but she decided to return to the scene of the crime, where an employee remembered her and called cops. She faces charges of third-degree criminal mischief, which is a five-alarm felony in New York state.

Getting an “F” in common sense
An English teacher in Australia was granted $17,000 in wrongful dismissal charges after he was fired for using a worksheet that used the F-bomb in every sentence. Luke Webster was teaching students whose first language was not English when he offered up the test, asking them to discuss the four-letter word’s various meanings, and whether it was being used as a verb or a noun. He was fired for “highly offensive actions,” but a court ruled that he was … shall, we say, “screwed” by administrators who didn’t give him a chance to explain his reasoning.

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