Save some cash, lose some teeth

TEETHA man in China found out that a surgery he needed would cost an arm and a leg, so he decided to take mat­ters into his own hands. After a doc­tor warned Zheng Yan­liang that he only had three months to live if he didn’t act, the man went home and got out his tools – saw­ing through his leg while bit­ing down on a piece of wood to keep him­self from scream­ing. He was suc­cess­ful in treat­ing the leg wound, but now needs a trip to the den­tist – since he lost three teeth as a result of bit­ing the wood plank so hard.

Yale Uni­ver­sity stu­dents are deal­ing with a tres­passer who’s been tam­per­ing with loads of laun­dry by adding his own “load” into sev­eral dry­ers full of just-washed cloth­ing! The cul­prit, dubbed “the poope­tra­tor” by baf­fled secu­rity per­son­nel, has dropped deuces in four dif­fer­ent dry­ers over the past month, forc­ing the machines out of ser­vice and prompt­ing vic­tims to dump their dump-stained duds. The sus­pect took things a bit fur­ther in his most recent fecal frolic – hang­ing up a clothes­line with soiled clothes in a court­yard. Yale sopho­more David Steiner told the New Haven Reg­is­ter “Some peo­ple think the whole thing is funny; some think it is scary; and every­one thinks it is gross.”   

It seems all men in mar­riages get razzed for “not pay­ing atten­tion.” Just be glad you’re not this guy.Police said the newly mar­ried cou­ple was head­ing home to Berlin from their hon­ey­moon in France when the man pulled over to fill up their van. While he was get­ting the gas, his wife who had been sleep­ing in the back seat got up to use the toi­lets.  Well, the hus­band hadn’t noticed that she got out and he drove off before she returned. Only after 2 ½ hours on the road did he notice she was gone and called police, who said she was patiently waiting.

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