Bigfoot eats pizza and poops

bigfoot_captured1Michigan man Anthony Padilla told officers that he believes he awoke a sleeping Bigfoot while clearing branches on his property, and things haven’t been the same since. Padilla went to the police station with an armload of evidence, including dead animals, shredded pizza boxes and suspicious looking poop. While officials have declined to assign any manpower to the case, they did take a statement from Padilla, who offered his assessment of what the mysterious monster looks like. The police report says. “Anthony believes bigfoot is not ape man or a mammal at all, but a spiritual creature that can shape shift, but when it takes form eats pizza and defecates.”

Mexican man Guillermo Reyes was pulled over at a routine checkpoint in Mexico City when an officer heard a voice insistently say, “He’s drunk! He’s drunk!” Thinking it was another person, the cop peered into the car and saw a parrot in the back seat! Reyes failed a sobriety test and was supposed to forfeit the bird, but he said the critter would suffer anxiety and serious health issues if that happened, so it was allowed to accompany him to his own cage.

This biker popped more than a wheelie. A 22-year-old Irishman experienced a seven-week woody after crashing his mountain bike, according to the Irish Examiner. The injury, which was reported in the January edition of the Irish Medical Journal, occurred after the man fell onto the crossbar of his bike! Ouch! Doctors were finally able to shift his dingy into a lower gear using a process that involved inserting gel foam and platinum coils.

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