Why you should never take sheep intestines on a plane...

Ian Blake was pulled aside at Birmingham airport when scanners thought they’d gotten a whiff of plastic explosives, haggis2but the package turned out to be nothing more than a bag of haggis — the intestines, lungs and kidneys of a sheep stuffed into the animal’s stomach for extra-fine dining. The screeners apologized to Blake for the mistake, but he couldn’t help but note one other minor issue: After giving his haggis a pass, they completely ignored the fact that his carry-on also housed a ten-inch knife that was part of a ceremonial outfit he’d planned to wear at a parade.

A popular opera singer is suing the United States government for making her the butt of jokes – because an army doctor botched an operation, causing her to fart uncontrollably when stretching for a high note.  Amy Herbst, whose husband is an Army officer, was given an unexpected procedure during the delivery of her son, which played havoc with her digestive system. She’s been told that surgery could fix the problem, but might result in her being unable to have more children, so she’s putting it off – and filing a lawsuit over the musical toots.

Uniontown, PA police said Keith Metts, was making whoopee with a woman when her boyfriend arrived at the house.  The boyfriend, obviously not happy with what he’d discovered chased Metts out of the house before he could grab anything.  I mean nothing. Imagine the neighbors surprise when he went banging on their door in the nude.  Metts was found walking with a blanket and jacket and told police four men attacked him and took his clothing and jewelry.  Police followed Metts’ bare footprints in the snow and found “not a single sign of struggle.”  Metts finally came clean about concocting the story, police said.

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