Snooze alarm

ikea bedA woman in Israel made her­self at home at a local IKEA by stum­bling in, puk­ing and falling asleep on a queen-sized bed!  Now, if this hap­pened here in the states we’d call the cops or drag their drunken butts out onto the streets.  These work­ers decided to leave her undis­turbed until clos­ing time! IKEA issued a state­ment say­ing, “She felt unwell when she arrived at the store, and our peo­ple there­fore per­mit­ted her to rest until she felt bet­ter. We wish her the best of health.”

Florida man Ray­mond Lawhorn was taken into cus­tody after he ran over a curb, then hit a police car – at which time he told the offi­cer he didn’t have a valid license, since it was per­ma­nently revoked some time ago. He was taken to the near­est police sta­tion for pro­cess­ing, but before that could get under­way, he began reliev­ing him­self, first on the floor, then on the X-ray machine and finally on the arrest­ing offi­cer. Lawhorn was ordered held on charges of bat­tery, resist­ing arrest with­out vio­lence, and dri­ving with his license revoked.

A Florida cou­ple gave new mean­ing to the phrase “sex edu­ca­tion” by break­ing into a high school for some learnin’. Vin­cent Ewell and Lind­say Long­bot­tom were busted after set­ting off an alarm with their x-rated shenani­gans and Ewell’s deci­sion to break open a vend­ing machine to bat­tle a bad case of what he called “the beer munchies.” They said they needed to use the school for their ren­dezvous because they needed a place where they wouldn’t be spot­ted by Longbottom’s boyfriend.

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