Snooze alarm

ikea bedA woman in Israel made herself at home at a local IKEA by stumbling in, puking and falling asleep on a queen-sized bed!  Now, if this happened here in the states we’d call the cops or drag their drunken butts out onto the streets.  These workers decided to leave her undisturbed until closing time! IKEA issued a statement saying, “She felt unwell when she arrived at the store, and our people therefore permitted her to rest until she felt better. We wish her the best of health.”

Florida man Raymond Lawhorn was taken into custody after he ran over a curb, then hit a police car – at which time he told the officer he didn’t have a valid license, since it was permanently revoked some time ago. He was taken to the nearest police station for processing, but before that could get underway, he began relieving himself, first on the floor, then on the X-ray machine and finally on the arresting officer. Lawhorn was ordered held on charges of battery, resisting arrest without violence, and driving with his license revoked.

A Florida couple gave new meaning to the phrase “sex education” by breaking into a high school for some learnin’. Vincent Ewell and Lindsay Longbottom were busted after setting off an alarm with their x-rated shenanigans and Ewell’s decision to break open a vending machine to battle a bad case of what he called “the beer munchies.” They said they needed to use the school for their rendezvous because they needed a place where they wouldn’t be spotted by Longbottom’s boyfriend.

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