Something stinks in suburbia

dead sharkJohn Smith, Nantucket’s pub­lic works oper­a­tions man­ager, said his office got a call at 7 a.m. to remove a dead shark from in front of the Sea Dog Brew Pub and he had to call in a front-end loader to cart away the 6-foot-long, 100-pound shark. Sea Dog Brew Pub man­ager Jimmy Agnew said he was per­plexed by the shark and added a cou­ple of peo­ple had to be removed from the bar before it closed at 3 a.m., but he didn’t think any of the inci­dents were severe enough to result in a dead shark delivery.

Cal­i­for­nia Offi­cer Juan Tavera pulled an uniden­ti­fied teenager for a mov­ing vio­la­tion and wrote him a ticket.  Appar­ently the offi­cer thought the kid needed a lit­tle more than just a fine when he noticed a pizza on the seat and spritzed it with pep­per spray when the kid wasn’t look­ing! The young man and the friends he shared the pie with all became ill, and were told that they’d ingested the poi­so­nous spray. Tavera, who’s been placed on leave, could be jailed for a year.

A Florida home­owner called cops after find­ing a vis­i­bly intox­i­cated Nicholas Dimig camped out in his yard, rant­ing about hav­ing an ille­gal alien take his cash for a pot pur­chase with­out turn­ing over the goods. The respond­ing offi­cer tried to calm the sit­u­a­tion by get­ting Dimig to move along, but he refused, let­ting loose a string of exple­tives about how immi­grants were ruin­ing Amer­ica –- appar­ently by being less-than-honest in drug deals with upstand­ing Amer­i­cans like him­self. Dimig was taken into cus­tody on dis­or­derly intox­i­ca­tion charges.

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