Something stinks in suburbia

dead sharkJohn Smith, Nantucket’s public works operations manager, said his office got a call at 7 a.m. to remove a dead shark from in front of the Sea Dog Brew Pub and he had to call in a front-end loader to cart away the 6-foot-long, 100-pound shark. Sea Dog Brew Pub manager Jimmy Agnew said he was perplexed by the shark and added a couple of people had to be removed from the bar before it closed at 3 a.m., but he didn’t think any of the incidents were severe enough to result in a dead shark delivery.

California Officer Juan Tavera pulled an unidentified teenager for a moving violation and wrote him a ticket.  Apparently the officer thought the kid needed a little more than just a fine when he noticed a pizza on the seat and spritzed it with pepper spray when the kid wasn’t looking! The young man and the friends he shared the pie with all became ill, and were told that they’d ingested the poisonous spray. Tavera, who’s been placed on leave, could be jailed for a year.

A Florida homeowner called cops after finding a visibly intoxicated Nicholas Dimig camped out in his yard, ranting about having an illegal alien take his cash for a pot purchase without turning over the goods. The responding officer tried to calm the situation by getting Dimig to move along, but he refused, letting loose a string of expletives about how immigrants were ruining America –- apparently by being less-than-honest in drug deals with upstanding Americans like himself. Dimig was taken into custody on disorderly intoxication charges.

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