An Oregon man, who was not identified, got into a scuffle with a family seated nearby in a movie theater and decided to make his feelings known — not with two thumbs up, but with one johnson out. He relieved himself on a teenaged boy, and caused enough of a ruckus to get cops summoned to the multiplex. The family did not press charges, but the man is banned from the theater.
A Florida man made it easy for a highway patrol officer to nab him for driving under the influence – by steering his vehicle right into the rear of the cop’s cruiser! John Tauber slammed into the back of the police vehicle, then tried to drive off, not noticing that the officer was sitting inside. When the deputy caught up with him, Tauber nearly fell down while trying to leave the scene on foot. Tauber initially refused field sobriety tests, and the officer noted in his report that “the driver stated he has a lot of money and I need to shut the [bleep] up.” He was taken to jail, where he took the breath test, blowing more than four times the legal limit.
A Swedish man is facing vandalism charges after deciding to personally wash down the produce section in a local supermarket. The man, whose name was not released, walked into the Hempkop market and made his way to a fruit display, where he sprayed down a display of apples and oranges using the hose that God gave him. The owners of the store estimate that the DIY marinating job did about $150 in damage to inventory, which they plan to try to recover by suing. Police who responded to the scene say the man was aggressive and needed to be restrained. He was described as “apparently intoxicated.”