The rea­son a drug sup­ply is called a “stash” is because it’s sup­posed to be stashed, but a New Jer­sey TeMon Molleyman obvi­ously didn’t under­stand this con­cept.  Te’Mon Mol­ley, 18, was sched­uled for an appear­ance at the Town­ship of Hamil­ton Munic­i­pal Court.  When Mol­ley and two other peo­ple he was with arrived, court offi­cers noticed that they smelled strongly of mar­i­juana. When author­i­ties con­ducted an inves­ti­ga­tion, they dis­cov­ered that Mol­ley had 43 bags of heroin and over $400 in cash on his per­son.  Mol­ley was charged with pos­ses­sion of heroin and pos­ses­sion of heroin with the intent to dis­trib­ute and was being held on $15,000 cash bail.

A man accused of steal­ing from a con­struc­tion site in Friendswood, Texas, is lucky he didn’t get picked up by the fash­ion police. A wit­ness reported see­ing a few men putting items from a con­struc­tion site into a trailer so he called police.  When offi­cers arrested Matthew Dwayne Cole­man for allegedly steal­ing rebar piers and hur­ri­cane fenc­ing, he was wear­ing a dis­tinc­tive out­fit: A cookie mon­ster one­sie!  No cook­ies were reported stolen.

Accord­ing to U.K. news out­let Metro, a road was closed off after an unnamed 40-year-old man was found at the side of the road in a “dis­tressed” state. Well duh — The man’s ding dong had report­edly been cut off!  In a state­ment, local police said they could “con­firm that the man found this morn­ing on the A66 [motor­way] had wounds to his groin area.” The man was report­edly checked into a hos­pi­tal and put into an induced coma. Though it is still unclear whether or not the appendage was found.


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