The reason a drug supply is called a “stash” is because it’s supposed to be stashed, but a New Jersey man obviously didn’t understand this concept. Te’Mon Molley, 18, was scheduled for an appearance at the Township of Hamilton Municipal Court. When Molley and two other people he was with arrived, court officers noticed that they smelled strongly of marijuana. When authorities conducted an investigation, they discovered that Molley had 43 bags of heroin and over $400 in cash on his person. Molley was charged with possession of heroin and possession of heroin with the intent to distribute and was being held on $15,000 cash bail.
A man accused of stealing from a construction site in Friendswood, Texas, is lucky he didn’t get picked up by the fashion police. A witness reported seeing a few men putting items from a construction site into a trailer so he called police. When officers arrested Matthew Dwayne Coleman for allegedly stealing rebar piers and hurricane fencing, he was wearing a distinctive outfit: A cookie monster onesie! No cookies were reported stolen.
According to U.K. news outlet Metro, a road was closed off after an unnamed 40-year-old man was found at the side of the road in a “distressed” state. Well duh — The man’s ding dong had reportedly been cut off! In a statement, local police said they could “confirm that the man found this morning on the A66 [motorway] had wounds to his groin area.” The man was reportedly checked into a hospital and put into an induced coma. Though it is still unclear whether or not the appendage was found.