Stuck between an air conditioner and a hard place

A smug­gler who thought he could get a leg up on law enforce­ment got kicked to the curb when a search turned up a large amount of cocaine hid­den in his arti­fi­cial leg. Cus­toms offi­cials said that the man, who had just arrived in Madrid, Spain, from Panama, looked extremely ner­vous, which led them to pull him aside for ques­tion­ing. After a snif­fer dog reacted strongly to the pros­thetic, the man was asked to unstrap it, which he did, reveal­ing two pack­ages con­tain­ing about 750 grams of coke – with a street value of $60,000 in Spain.

 A Florida woman who really wanted a screw­driver proved she had a screw loose – by pulling a gun and threat­en­ing her room­mate for hid­ing her bot­tle of vodka.Cops arrived after the roomie called 911 to report the alter­ca­tion with Kari Ann Dan­gler, who said she had done noth­ing wrong – and had only brought out the revolver to clean it for a third room­mate, who was the actual owner. Upon fur­ther exam­i­na­tion, a deputy found that the weapon had been fired recently, and Dan­gler admit­ted that she had got­ten off one shot – in the direc­tion of a frog that was mak­ing too much noise near her pool.For­tu­nately for her roomies, the frog was the only thing that croaked.

bottle rocketsA judge has told a West Vir­ginia col­lege stu­dent to blow it out his butt for try­ing to sue his col­lege for injuries he sus­tained after a fall at a party.  Louis Hel­berg III says he got banged up after falling from a porch when he was star­tled by fel­low Mar­shall Uni­ver­sity foot­ball player Travis Hughes’ attempt to shoot bot­tle rock­ets out of his butt dur­ing a frat party! Hel­berg tum­bled one floor from a bal­cony and got wedged between the frat house and an air con­di­tion­ing unit and needed med­ical treat­ment as a result. The court ruled that Hel­berg can still pro­ceed with suits against the land­lord and his butt-headed friend, however.

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