Stuff that in your football and smoke it!


Detroit man Chris­ten Moore tried to go long with a foot­ball but instead of it land­ing in the yard, the ball wound up between two fences at deflated footballthe G. Robert Cot­ton Cor­rec­tional Facil­ity!  Now, toss­ing a foot­ball isn’t too out of the ordi­nary except that Moore was on the “free” side of the fence and the foot­ball was stuffed with heroin, pot, tobacco, three cell phones and charg­ers! And much like a real foot­ball game, Moore was quickly tack­led. He’s now fac­ing felony charges.

 

A Florida lawyer recently missed her client’s court date but she had a good excuse. Well, she thought so any­way. Jan­ice Jen­nings told a fed­eral judge that the oppos­ing attor­ney, John Camp­bell, used a microchip and spe­cial tech­nol­ogy to make her miss the date. The judge was under­stand­ably dumb­founded and asked, “You’re say­ing some­thing is implanted in your brain?” To which Jen­nings responded, “In the area of my left ear.” She then claimed that Camp­bell has been using the device to sub­ject her to tor­ture. The judge called her accu­sa­tion “bizarre” and a non­profit group that helps lawyers deal with men­tal ill­ness has reached out to her. This strange behav­ior is noth­ing new for Jen­nings. She made a sim­i­lar accu­sa­tion against another attor­ney in 2003 but despite her behav­ior, she’s been allowed to prac­tice under the Florida bar. Ok, don’t get arrested in Florida.

 

 
A Con­necti­cut woman became con­cerned when she heard what sounded like a child yelling, “Daddy, daddy, daddy,” fol­lowed by “What?” She thought there was a lost child search­ing for his or her father, so she set out to locate the child and even­tu­ally ended up at a tree out­side a local school. She looked up and saw the cul­prit. A par­rot. The woman alerted ani­mal con­trol, who iden­ti­fied the miss­ing bird as Ral­phie. His owner had reported him miss­ing sev­eral days ear­lier after he had flown out of the house. Ral­phie was call­ing for his daddy. Ral­phie was returned to his owner.

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