That's NOT a hand!

Michelle Mal­one and Keith Abra­hams called 911 for help after she suf­fered a panic attack in the wee hours of the morn­ing. A para­medic dis­patched to the scene sent out a call for police rein­force­ments, say­ing that Abra­hams was stand­ing in the bed­room hold­ing a hand­gun.  A bat­tery of 10 cops sur­rounded the cou­ple and dragged them to a local precinct while another group stayed behind in search of the weapon – which turned out to be the TV remote control!

Most peo­ple can accept being the vic­tim of an office prank—but Tas­ing seems a lit­tle much. In that spirit, a Texas man has filed suit against a GOP state law­maker and her hus­band over months of alleged Taser attacks while work­ing at their Hous­ton car deal­er­ship.  State Rep. Patri­cia Har­less’ hus­band, Sam Har­less, allegedly made a Taser avail­able to employ­ees at the Hous­ton office and filmed them sneak­ing up on Jones and shock­ing him. Accord­ing to the suit, the pranks went on for months and even got posted on YouTube but have since been removed. But Sam Har­less denies the whole thing.

handA Florida man was fin­gered for lewd behav­ior after cops spot­ted him at the side of a road wav­ing to pass­ing cars with all 3 hands.  Wha??  An offi­cer on rou­tine patrol noticed Tim­o­thy Nor­ris Menser pee­ing in an alley­way out­side a food bank, where he was said to be “sway­ing from side to side.” Menser walked towards the street, where a music fes­ti­val was tak­ing place, and began wav­ing at cars includ­ing a cruiser hous­ing a pair of deputies. When the offi­cers approached the 53-year-old, he reeked of alco­hol. A writ­ten report says, “When he was told about how fam­i­lies dri­ving by could see what he was doing … he low­ered his head in shame.”

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