The Ex-orcism!


the exorcismLt. Mike Jones of the San Joaquin Sheriff’s Depart­ment says 42-year-old Jose Farias and 20-year-old Vic­tor Farias met up with Jose’s ex at a Wal­mart in north Stock­ton under the pre­tense of mak­ing the mar­riage work. After she will­ingly got in the car, they picked up 2 priests.  They then per­formed an exor­cism on the ex where was drenched with sacred oil and “puri­fied.” The two men are being held on charges of kid­nap­ping, con­spir­acy to com­mit a crime and false impris­on­ment. It’s one thing to thing your ex is evil but this is ridicu­lous.

An Aus­tralian man who’d just crashed his car thought he could use his head to help the sit­u­a­tion – by run­ning through traf­fic smash­ing it against the wind­shields and hoods of every other vehi­cle in sight. The man, whose name was not released, plowed his Mazda into a VW that was pulled over on the shoul­der of a busy high­way, then went on a ram­page, hop­ping onto hoods and head-butting the wind­shields or driver’s side win­dows of sev­eral appalled motorists.  Cops even­tu­ally sub­dued the man and took him to a hos­pi­tal for obser­va­tion. Not sur­pris­ingly, they’re inves­ti­gat­ing whether drugs or alco­hol were involved.

A Florida man was arrested for putting a lit­tle too much show into his per­sonal game of show and tell.  Neigh­bors called 911 to report that Stephen Van Alphen was caus­ing a dis­tur­bance by traips­ing around the street lift­ing what he called his “Clint East­wood pon­cho” in order to show every­one the good, the bad and, espe­cially, the ugly. The man, who was released on bail, explained him­self by say­ing, “It sounds crazy and I don’t belong in the asy­lum. I was play­ing Cow­boys and Indi­ans in the house all by myself. I was the naked Red­skin and the pon­choed cow­boy at the same time.”   

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