The last place I'd spend my nights


Its one thing to wake up and feel like you’re dead but to actu­ally read in the news­pa­per that you ARE dead is a totally dif­fer­ent sit­u­a­tion! James Maze began receiv­ing con­do­lences over the week­end from friends after they read about his death in the news­pa­per. Accord­ing to Maze, in addi­tion to the fact that he isn’t dead, the news­pa­per also inac­cu­rately reported his age and the names of rel­a­tives. But the paper did get his past his­tory cor­rect. The paper appar­ently got Maze con­fused with a man of the same name who passed away. The for­mer County Com­mis­sioner is hop­ing the mis­take won’t hurt his run for sher­iff. “It’s going to take me awhile to get every­body to under­stand I’m not dead.”

A Cana­dian man whose name was not released, ini­tially dialed 911 in North Bat­tle­ford, Saskatchewan, and asked for “a pop and some smokes” – an order that the dis­patcher declined, telling him that 911 was for life-and-death mat­ters only. That mes­sage didn’t sink in, since he rang up a sec­ond time to request “another mickey of vodka.” After the sec­ond call, offi­cers showed up at his house for an in-person reminder of the true mean­ing of emer­gency – and were met with another request for snacks. Since the man appeared extremely intox­i­cated and had a loaded weapon on hand, he was taken in for his own safety.

drunk man in a bathroomAlabama Police arrested Anthony Adams for pub­lic drunk­en­ness after he was caught in the women’s bath­room at Wal­mart around 10 p.m. reek­ing of alco­hol (and other things I can only imag­ine). Adams was so out of it that he told offi­cers he knew the sher­iff “here” in Ring­gold, Ga., even though he was in Chat­tooga County, AL.  A breath test revealed Adams had a blood-alcohol con­tent level of 0.197 and was hav­ing dif­fi­culty stand­ing up. He doesn’t think that he even went into the bath­room, although he’s not sure. “If I even went in the women’s bath­room it’s because I was in the wrong bath­room.” After spend­ing the night in jail Adams was out the next day and headed back to the Wal­mart with a friend.  But instead of head­ing to the women’s restroom he opted to sit in the car and drink a six-pack of Nat­ural Ice. 

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