This guy's a wiz

In this econ­omy peo­ple have to be proac­tive and a Chicago-area busi­ness­man thinks he can expe­ri­ence no peethe sweet smell of suc­cess! Jeff Ben­nett devel­oped a burn­ing desire to move con­sumers beyond what he calls “girly scents” and burned the can­dle at both ends until he came out with his new line of dis­tinc­tive aro­mas, which range from gaso­line to “body odor” … and even the pee-scented treat he hopes to make his number-one seller. Ben­nett says, “Most people’s think it’s gross when they first hear about it but they laugh and are then curi­ous to smell them.”  And then they still think it’s gross….

Is there any­thing duct tape can’t do? After store clerk Cipri­ano Ojeda allegedly saw Alexan­der Greene walk­ing out of his deli with six beers and three bot­tles of malt liquor stuffed in his back­pack, he
con­fronted him.  The sus­pect wounded Ojeda in the fore­head with a knife, but the clerk was able to restrain him and pin him to the ground. When offi­cers from the Clal­lam County Sheriff’s Office,
they found Greene out­side on the side­walk with all four of his limbs bound with duct tape.

A museum in Ice­land devoted entirely to show­cas­ing the wangs of all the earth’s species is still miss­ing one very impor­tant piece. The Phal­lo­log­i­cal Museum boasts 93 dif­fer­ent species, from mice to whales, but it’s still wait­ing for a human spec­i­men.  There are two will­ing donors locked in a com­pe­ti­tion to be the first to have theirs in the museum. Pall Ara­son of Ice­land and Amer­i­can Tom Mitchell who says his is tat­tooed with the stars and stripes! (So, there) Also, he says the museum could have his before he dies. (Wha??)  He says, “I’ve always had a dream of fame and for­tune for Elmo.”  Yes, Elmo is the name he’s given it...and that’s the scari­est part of this story!

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