Thrusday 3/29

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Exsqeeze me - An Aus­tralian woman needed more than a sim­ple “God Bless You” after sneez­ing in bed.  Monique Jef­frey was lying down when she got the urge to sneeze, and didn’t think much of it — until she felt “excru­ci­at­ing” pain after­wards. The 28-year-old found her­self unable to walk, but man­aged to text her hus­band with a plea for help. After being rushed to the hos­pi­tal, she was found to have dis­lo­cated two ver­te­brae, and was fit­ted with a spinal brace.

A dog­gone lucky num­ber - A bas­set hound who was deter­mined to fetch help for him­self man­aged to dial the British equiv­a­lent of 911 to sum­mon emer­gency work­ers to stop him from chok­ing. George, a play­ful two-year-old, had knocked the land­line off its perch and got­ten the cord wrapped around his throat when he began paw­ing madly at the key­pad, even­tu­ally dial­ing 999. The dis­patcher didn’t exactly under­stand what the pooch was say­ing, but was alarmed at the heavy breath­ing and strange sounds, so she sent some­one out to check.  George’s 18-year-old owner says he is usu­ally not the bright­est light, not­ing, “He’s really dopey and just likes to chew socks.”

Up in smoke - An Aus­tralian man clearly needs to fil­ter his urges, as he proved by rolling his van off the road while on a quest for smokes. The 41-year-old, who was not iden­ti­fied, was with his wife when he decided he was will­ing to drive a mile or more for a Ciggy. He took a turn onto a side street a lit­tle too quickly, send­ing his four-wheel-drive vehi­cle off the road and onto its roof. When cops arrived to inves­ti­gate, they found the dri­ver and his wife trapped, naked, and ine­bri­ated but unin­jured. He faces sev­eral dri­ving charges.

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