Thursday 1/17

Police say a man is accused of steal­ing $30,000 worth of auto­matic flush vales from uri­nals and toi­lets since Sep­tem­ber in Mil­wau­kee. Offi­cials sus­pect that he’s reselling the parts some­how, but they have yet to con­firm this. One regional man­ager of the local Arby’s has even ordered locks placed on their urinals.

Two adult broth­ers  stole their 92-year-old father’s body from a ceme­tery.  Clarence Street’s “intact and unharmed” corpse was found yes­ter­day morn­ing in the base­ment freezer of one of his sons’ Detroit homes. The 38– and 48-year-old sons are in cus­tody and could be charged with dis­in­ter­ment. The older brother was appar­ently hav­ing a hard time cop­ing with his dad’s death, par­tic­u­larly since his mother had also died recently. He even admit­ted to pur­chas­ing the freezer in order to store the body. Offi­cials said, “he is very reli­gious, and he was hop­ing his father would be res­ur­rected. He was hop­ing for a miracle.”

Author­i­ties in Florida say a man accused of steal­ing beer, wine and steaks from a Wal­mart store told deputies he was try­ing to “impress a lady.” The Man­a­tee County Sheriff’s Office said a loss pre­ven­tion offi­cer spot­ted James Flen­niken, 48, tak­ing the $79.30 worth of items from the Man­a­tee store about 5 p.m. Flen­niken told deputies he took the items in an attempt to “impress a lady.” Flen­niken was taken to the county jail on a mis­de­meanor shoplift­ing charge which pretty much guar­an­tees she was not impressed.

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