Thursday 2/21

An Ari­zona man is in hot water for treat­ing neigh­bors to a bap­tism by fire — which he deliv­ered by spray­ing them with his ver­sion of “holy water,” made up of Tabasco, bleach and veg­etable oil. Fran­cisco Javier Villa spritzed a man in the face in the park­ing lot of his apart­ment com­plex after he was warned not to mess with the guy’s car. The sec­ond vic­tim was a wit­ness who con­fronted Villa about the inci­dent, then went to cops after being sprayed him­self. Villa told offi­cers that he was merely spray­ing the men with holy water for their own good.

Pasta strainer on headAuthor­i­ties in New Jer­sey said they were called by motor vehi­cle work­ers who reported a man refus­ing to take a pasta strainer off his head for an ID photo. The man, Aaron Williams, 25, said the pasta strainer was a reli­gious head cov­er­ing as he prac­tices Pasta­far­i­an­ism, the reli­gion of the Church of the Fly­ing Spaghetti Mon­ster. The satir­i­cal reli­gion is a move­ment opposed to the teach­ing of intel­li­gent design and cre­ation­ism in schools.Williams reluc­tantly agreed to have his pic­ture taken with­out the strainer.

A Wis­con­sin man called 911 to report that he’d suf­fered an aller­gic reac­tion after try­ing to help his girl­friend apply a painkiller patch to her back. The guy was described as suf­fer­ing tremors and turn­ing ashen in color when emer­gency respon­ders arrived and tried to admin­is­ter treat­ment. Um, he was apply­ing it to HER back so why was he sick?  Well, turns out he’d taken the patch and placed it on a piece of tin­foil in an attempt to get high by light­ing it up. That of course led to more ques­tions and the dis­cov­ery of a crack pipe in his the pocket of his jeans, which he said must have been left there “years ago” when he smoked the stuff. Yeah. Time flies when you’re hav­ing fun.  He and his com­pan­ion were both arrested on drug pos­ses­sion charges.

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