Thursday 3/22

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An honest but lazy thief – Authorities called Jay Maytin to inform him that his 13-year-old bike had been left at the Aspen,CO courthouse along with a brief apology reading, “Sorry. I stole this bike. I rode it home. Please give it back — Drunk.” Maytin says he has no interest in pressing charges or finding out the identity of the tipsy rider, saying, “I knew a drunk took it because it doesn’t have much of a re-sale value.”

 Cut the cook – The Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office said a deputy was approached in Lake Worthby a 56-year-old man who said he had argued with Lisa Cherry when she said she was sick of cooking for him. The man said Cherry was drinking beer and began throwing food out the door. The man said he told Cherry he would cut “her pony tail off if she didn’t stop throwing things,” leading her to cut the house’s phone line and stab the man in the left hand!  Cherry was being held at the Palm Beach County Jail without bail.

 Smugler’s Blues – A dopey drug mule served herself up to investigating agents on a plate — a license plate with the vanity imprint “SMUGLER.” In case the feds didn’t catch on to that subtle clue, Jasmin Klair decided to complete her transaction for 24 pounds of cocaine at a hotel near the Canadian border called The Smuggler’s Inn. As the agents began questioning Klair, she started getting text messages with explicit instructions of how the deal was supposed to go down. The authorities took control of the situation and ended up arresting her two accomplices. The owner of the Smuggler’sInn, which stands less than 150 yards from the border, says more than 50 people have been arrested there on drug charges in the past year.

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