Thursday 4/12


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Would you like some ketchup with those wieners? — Cops arrived to inves­ti­gate a noise com­plaint at a Boston area home and found five young men naked and slathered in ketchup!  They also found mul­ti­ple red solo cups filled with warm beer and sar­dines.  The house is reg­is­tered to a fra­ter­nity that once counted Face­book founder Mark Zucker­berg as a mem­ber and prob­a­bly for obvi­ous rea­sons the land­lord is look­ing to evict the frat.
Let us spray — Teresa Aguayo tried to buy one bot­tle of beer from a CA store, but was told that the drinks were only sold by the six-pack. She accepted that answer, walked away but returned to try again.  When the answer didn’t change she went nuts and started chok­ing the clerk, pour­ing clean­ing sol­vent over her and sprayed her face with bug spray!   The assault sent the clerk to the hos­pi­tal on her birth­day and sent Aguayo to the slam­mer — where sin­gle bot­tles of beer are also not available.
I.D. please — Xenia,OH police said Han­son Price, 21, showed his driver’s license to the clerk at the United Dairy Farmer’s onWest Sec­ond Street to pur­chase a 59-cent Black and Mild Cigar and paid with a $1 bill.  That wasn’t all Prince wanted how­ever and he whipped out his 9mm hand­gun and demanded the money from the reg­is­ter!  Hmmm you can’t help but think that the cigar was bought to make a blunt because his short term mem­ory failed to remem­ber he had just showed his iden­ti­fi­ca­tion to the clerk!  Price fled with $72, but was soon arrested and his gun recov­ered.   He was jailed in lieu of $100,000 bond, was charged with aggra­vated rob­bery with a firearm. If con­victed, he would face a min­i­mum three year prison sentence.

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