Thursday 4/12


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Would you like some ketchup with those wieners? – Cops arrived to investigate a noise complaint at a Boston area home and found five young men naked and slathered in ketchup!  They also found multiple red solo cups filled with warm beer and sardines.  The house is registered to a fraternity that once counted Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg as a member and probably for obvious reasons the landlord is looking to evict the frat.
Let us spray – Teresa Aguayo tried to buy one bottle of beer from a CA store, but was told that the drinks were only sold by the six-pack. She accepted that answer, walked away but returned to try again.  When the answer didn’t change she went nuts and started choking the clerk, pouring cleaning solvent over her and sprayed her face with bug spray!   The assault sent the clerk to the hospital on her birthday and sent Aguayo to the slammer — where single bottles of beer are also not available.
I.D. please – Xenia,OH police said Hanson Price, 21, showed his driver’s license to the clerk at the United Dairy Farmer’s onWest Second Street to purchase a 59-cent Black and Mild Cigar and paid with a $1 bill.  That wasn’t all Prince wanted however and he whipped out his 9mm handgun and demanded the money from the register!  Hmmm you can’t help but think that the cigar was bought to make a blunt because his short term memory failed to remember he had just showed his identification to the clerk!  Price fled with $72, but was soon arrested and his gun recovered.   He was jailed in lieu of $100,000 bond, was charged with aggravated robbery with a firearm. If convicted, he would face a minimum three year prison sentence.

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