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He’s the king of the world!! - Police were mind­ing their own busi­ness when Jesse James Thomas leapt onto their parked cruiser wear­ing a som­brero and a sin­gle box­ing glove, announc­ing that he’d come to town to make a name for him­self! To under­score that atten­tion, he shouted his name at the top of his lungs sev­eral times before flee­ing down the street. Offi­cers found him a short time later, lying in the street and mut­ter­ing inco­her­ently about his greatness.

All washed up - Police in Abbots­ford were called after mid­night Tues­day by neigh­bors who heard scream­ing com­ing from a drive-through, 24-hour car wash.  When offi­cers arrived, they found three 23-year-old ine­bri­ated men get­ting dressed. The trio told offi­cers they had stripped and got­ten into a shop­ping cart to ride through the car wash. Police issued warn­ings, but didn’t charge the men. They told the CBC it was for­tu­nate the trio hadn’t selected a hot wax cycle.

Well, ain’t that a shot in the ass - The Mar­gate Police Depart­ment said a worker at David Bari’s Pawn Shop left his semi­au­to­matic Glock .40 cal­iber hand­gun on a counter when he stepped out around 6:30 p.m. Tues­day and another employee mis­took it for a store item and attempted to place it into a dis­play case. The gun went off while it was being han­dled and the bul­let struck a third employee in the but­tocks and entered through the front pelvic area, police said. Police said the inci­dent is being inves­ti­gated but the pre­lim­i­nary inves­ti­ga­tion indi­cates the shoot­ing was accidental.