Thursday 5/10

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A man who was detained for attempt­ing to smug­gle a bunch of lizards through a Ger­man air­port says he had no idea he was com­mit­ting a crime. The man, whose name was not released, was return­ing from theMid­dle East, and had the lizards stuffed into his carry-on lug­gage. When stopped for ques­tion­ing, he insisted they were just part of his diet — and offered to bite the head off one of them as proof, a pro­posal offi­cials declined. Author­i­ties believe he was plan­ning to sell them on the black mar­ket for sev­eral hun­dred dol­lars a pop — a price that may or may not include fries.

Daniel Chong, 23, was at a friend’s house to cel­e­brate 4/20 when DEA agents raided the res­i­dence and took him to their office, NBC San Diego reports. Though no charges were filed against him and he was told he could go home, Chong was instead placed in a cell where he spent the next five days with no human con­tact, no food, and no water, he says. He screamed and kicked the door, but was “ignored,” he says—despite the fact that he could hear DEA employ­ees and oth­ers in nearby cells. By the third day, he was “com­pletely insane” and hal­lu­ci­nat­ing, says Chong, who explains he found a pow­dery sub­stance in the cell and ate it; it was later deter­mined to be meth. By the time he was released, he had lost 15 pounds and his kid­neys were close to fail­ing. On the fourth day, he broke his glasses and used the shards to attempt sui­cide; he even ingested some of the glass. When he was finally found, by DEA employ­ees he described as nervous-looking, he spent three days in inten­sive care. The DEA has yet to apol­o­gize, Chong’s lawyer says.

A Texas teenager got locked up after he had the bright idea of rob­bing a cop … in the mid­dle of a police sta­tion.  Kei­than Waltham walked into the Dallas-area precinct with a towel cov­er­ing his hand and pointed at the dis­patch win­dow with it, say­ing, “Give me all the money.” The offi­cer on duty didn’t take kindly to the request and took the 18-year-old into cus­tody, book­ing him on charges includ­ing attempted robbery.Waltham wants to be released, say­ing it was all a big joke and insist­ing, “I didn’t say noth­ing like that — they didn’t find no guns on me.” No, you just tried to rob a police station.

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