Thursday 7/26

Cops inves­ti­gat­ing a report of a sus­pi­cious white pow­der found at a Wash­ing­ton state inter­sec­tion quickly dis­cov­ered that their sus­pects had already flown out of the area.  A haz­mat team was scour­ing the scene for clues when an eye­wit­ness approached them and told them that they weren’t likely to need their pro­tec­tive gear, since the pow­der in ques­tion was noth­ing more than flour – which had spilled from the large sacks that a pair of crows had been drag­ging along the ground. The woman, who was jog­ging in the area at the time, said she took the sacks from the birds and kept running.


A heap­ing help­ing of fruit really can be good for you, as an elderly Mass­a­chu­setts woman proved – by fight­ing off a pair of armed rob­bers with a bar­rage of man­goes. The 80-year-old woman was in her son-in-law’s food mar­ket when the men entered and approached the cash reg­is­ter with guns drawn. Rather than open the till and hand over the let­tuce, she grabbed a box of man­goes and started fir­ing them in the thugs’ direc­tion, star­tling them enough to get them to run. She fol­lowed them, con­tin­u­ing the trop­i­cal tor­rent, until one of the men hit her on the head with his gun. She’s recov­er­ing from a minor injury, and both sus­pects are in custody


A Cana­dian teenager really pushed the enve­lope last week by tak­ing a size­able dose of LSD and get­ting into a knock-down, drag-out fight … with a mail­box. The 15-year-old stamped him­self as a first-class idiot by get­ting into an argu­ment with road­side mail­box, shout­ing at it and ulti­mately attack­ing it phys­i­cally. When respond­ing offi­cers tried to get him to move along, he began fight­ing with them as well, but calmed down rather quickly when it turned out they could fight back. Author­i­ties opted not to press any charges against the lad, say­ing, “He’s just a kid who made some bad choices.”

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