Thursday 7/26

Cops investigating a report of a suspicious white powder found at a Washington state intersection quickly discovered that their suspects had already flown out of the area.  A hazmat team was scouring the scene for clues when an eyewitness approached them and told them that they weren’t likely to need their protective gear, since the powder in question was nothing more than flour – which had spilled from the large sacks that a pair of crows had been dragging along the ground. The woman, who was jogging in the area at the time, said she took the sacks from the birds and kept running.


A heaping helping of fruit really can be good for you, as an elderly Massachusetts woman proved – by fighting off a pair of armed robbers with a barrage of mangoes. The 80-year-old woman was in her son-in-law’s food market when the men entered and approached the cash register with guns drawn. Rather than open the till and hand over the lettuce, she grabbed a box of mangoes and started firing them in the thugs’ direction, startling them enough to get them to run. She followed them, continuing the tropical torrent, until one of the men hit her on the head with his gun. She’s recovering from a minor injury, and both suspects are in custody


A Canadian teenager really pushed the envelope last week by taking a sizeable dose of LSD and getting into a knock-down, drag-out fight … with a mailbox. The 15-year-old stamped himself as a first-class idiot by getting into an argument with roadside mailbox, shouting at it and ultimately attacking it physically. When responding officers tried to get him to move along, he began fighting with them as well, but calmed down rather quickly when it turned out they could fight back. Authorities opted not to press any charges against the lad, saying, “He’s just a kid who made some bad choices.”

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