Thursday 7/5

New Jersey surgeons removed a rapidly growing, 51-pound (23-kg) cancerous tumour from a woman who had delayed treatment for more than a month until she became eligible for health insurance!  Her Dr said, “She was a skinny lady with a huge belly. I mean it looked like she was literally pregnant with triplets,” She made it through surgery but will possibly need chemo.

The Beaver County, PA times reports that 23-year-old Holden Wooley, a jail inmate who was wearing his orange and white striped uniform was taken to Heritage Valley Beaver Hospital after a reported seizure. Deputies say at one point during his four-hour hospital visit, Wooley went outside to hail a cab — but the driver refused to pick him up. When hospital security officers tried to grab him, Wooley ran into the woods. Police say he was arrested a couple hours later when officers used a dog and a stun gun to subdue him. He was treated for a dog bite at the hospital and returned to jail.

Burglary and booze don’t mix, as one Russian robber recently discovered. Authorities say the alleged thief, an unidentified man, was in the middle of robbing a house near Moscow when he saw a bottle of vodka and couldn’t say “nyet.” Apparently, he’d had a few too many because he fell asleep on the bed and was still snoozing when the homeowners arrived. It was a rude awakening for the robber, but he could have plenty of chances to catch up on his sleep, because authorities say he could spend 10 years in jail.

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