Tuesday 10/16

A British man will be stuck performing thousands of hours of community service after making thousands of phone calls to perfect strangers, informing them that he’d gotten his manhood stuck in someplace it didn’t belong. Gareth Lloyd placed nearly 6000 calls from a pay-as-you-go cell phone, claiming that little Gareth had become lodged in everything from a bottle, to a vacuum cleaner. Lloyd’s lawyer said, “He thought that he was having a bit of a joke. It was a joke in poor taste, perhaps a little perverted to say the least. He accepts that.”

Amanda Wilcox rounded a corner at high speed and nearly clipped another car before cops flagged her down. She denied downing any booze – technically not a lie – but when her breathalyzer test showed her to be nearly double the legal limit, she had to confess to sipping a half-bottle of hand sanitizer! Wilcox was charged with driving while intoxicated, then released on a $500 bond.

A Virginia teenager had her horseback riding lesson interrupted by fowl weather – when she was smacked in the skull by a large chunk of raw chicken that fell from the clear blue sky. Cassie Bernard was wearing a helmet when she was beaned by the foot-long slab of poultry, so she didn’t suffer any major injuries in the incident.  While there is a chicken-processing plant in the vicinity, the operators insist none of their bird parts were involved.An investigator said it was likely that the chicken chunk was dropped by a seagull with an overflowing beak, but said the investigation would continue, noting, “We can’t just have pieces of chicken falling out of the sky

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