Tuesday 2/14

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Thank you, now go away - An Indi­ana man put in a bid for the title of world’s most polite bur­glar when he broke into a woman’s home and began fold­ing her laun­dry before cook­ing din­ner. Ash­ley Mur­ray says she came home to find Keith Davis in her kitchen, hov­er­ing over the stove sautéing a pan of chicken and onions. She’d also found he’d done chores and decked out the sofa with a sheet and pil­low­cases. When cops responded to her call,Davis insisted he was in his own home, and the woman was actu­ally the one tres­pass­ing — but the deputies didn’t buy the excuse.Murray isn’t sure about press­ing charges, since, as she puts it, “He drunk up my orange juice, but it’s cool because he swept up my floor and folded my clothes.”

X-rated Smurf­ing - An Ogden, UT man had rented a copy of “The Smurfs” from a Red­box kiosk and loaded the disc into his lap­top to show some kids. But when he turned the pro­jec­tor on for the chil­dren, porno­graphic images flashed on the screen. Author­i­ties got involved when the father com­plained some­body had tam­pered with the DVD. Police found noth­ing wrong, say­ing the porn was prob­a­bly on the laptop.

Silent-but-deadly — Wayne Hadley Jr. was arrested at his home on sus­pi­cion of mak­ing a bomb threat — deliv­ered by writ­ing the word “bomb” on a roll of toi­let paper. But Hadley’s aunt said the young man was pon­der­ing an explo­sion of another kind, telling inves­ti­ga­tors, “He was in the restroom doo­dling on some toi­let paper and I am going to just let mod­esty go and tell you we are from the coun­try, and so he calls pass­ing gas ‘bombs.’”

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