PUTTING A BITE INTO CRIME
A Pennsylvania woman ended up in jail for her attempt to put somebody else’s money where her mouth is –by robbing a bank to get cash for new dentures.
Evelyn Marie Fuller, who’s just about completely toothless, was nabbed after a man who was in the bank at the time recognized her the next day and phoned cops. She’d fled the scene with an unspecified amount of cash after handing a teller a note demanding the dough.
Fuller confessed to the crime when officers apprehended her, saying, “I’m very sorry for what I did and I know God is going to punish me for it.”
TROUBLE FOR THE PET SHOP BOY
An Arizona man got tangled in his own criminal web when he was caught shoplifting from a pet store — by stuffing a pair of tarantulas down his pants.
Clerks at Reptiles and Reefs recognized Adam Hartman immediately, since he’s a regular customer who’d even filled out an application to work at the exotic animal shop. They handed a surveillance tape over to cops, who hauled him in on misdemeanor theft charges.
If only he’d thought of a better plan on the fly!
THE BREAST-LAID PLANS …
A Florida woman made a real boob out of herself by trying to dodge a field sobriety test using the excuse that she couldn’t balance properly … because her breasts were too big!
Maureen Raymond was weaving over the highway’s double yellow lines at high speed, leading a deputy to pull her over. The officer said she smelled strongly of booze and was slurring her words: When he asked her if she was suffering from any injuries, she replied that she had “whiplash and big boobies.”
The deputy stepped in when she started taking off her clothes to prove the validity of the second claim.