Michael Baker broke into a concession stand at a local fairground and stole about $250 worth of cheese, bread and Italian sausage and then approached a man riding a bike & beat him with the meat! After wearing out the porky weapon, Baker took a wrench from his pocket and struck the victim, leaving him bloodied and bike-less. Cops caught up with him a short time later, charging him with battery, armed robbery and disturbing the peace.
Florida man Daryl Harris may have put his foot in his mouth by complaining about the foul foot odor displayed by pal Crawford Jackson — because when he raised a stink, he found himself on the receiving end of three minor stab wounds from a pen knife. Harris was not badly injured, but Jackson was charged with assault anyway.
Charles Marshall was arrested after workers at a health clinic spotted him getting up close and personal giving “bear hugs” to a stuffed teddy bear in an alleyway. Cops who arrived on the scene to take him into custody ran his identification to search for outstanding warrants and found that he’d been in court three times in the past 2 years for similar incidents — leading to a charge of disorderly conduct this time around.