Tuesday 7/10

Cops investigating a rash of thefts at a cemetery in upstate New York held a stakeout and found their culprit scurrying away from the site of a Civil War memorial holding the tiny memorial flags – right between its pointy little teeth. While the authorities didn’t use surveillance video, they did have a still camera set up at the scene that incriminated the dirty little rodents in at least one flag theft – leading them to presume the other 70 or so incidents were also the fault of the woodchucks. A cemetery official said, “We can all rest a little easier knowing that it was a critter and not a human defacing our flags. Now I just need to figure out where to send the bills.”


Robert Suggs and David Hall started their quest for cash by heisting a front-end loader and a dump truck from a construction site, then driving those vehicles to a bank branch, where they pried an ATM off the wall of a drive-thru withdrawal lane. The pair drove the ATM to an isolated location, and made several attempts to get the cash out. More than 12 hours after the initial theft, cops spotted them at a nearby house, still working at their withdrawal. All told, they caused about a thousand dollars in damage.


Police say a would-be burglar was halted by unlikely obstacles — window blinds.  KRQE-TV reports that police found Thomas Molina tangled in some window blinds at Central New Mexico Community College in Albuquerque after police received a call about a break-in. Police say the 38-year-old Molina told police he was looking for computer hardware. Molina was arrested and charged with burglary and breaking and entering. He is being held on a $10,000 bond.

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