Tuesday 7/10

Cops inves­ti­gat­ing a rash of thefts at a ceme­tery in upstate New York held a stake­out and found their cul­prit scur­ry­ing away from the site of a Civil War memo­r­ial hold­ing the tiny memo­r­ial flags – right between its pointy lit­tle teeth. While the author­i­ties didn’t use sur­veil­lance video, they did have a still cam­era set up at the scene that incrim­i­nated the dirty lit­tle rodents in at least one flag theft – lead­ing them to pre­sume the other 70 or so inci­dents were also the fault of the wood­chucks. A ceme­tery offi­cial said, “We can all rest a lit­tle eas­ier know­ing that it was a crit­ter and not a human defac­ing our flags. Now I just need to fig­ure out where to send the bills.”


Robert Suggs and David Hall started their quest for cash by heist­ing a front-end loader and a dump truck from a con­struc­tion site, then dri­ving those vehi­cles to a bank branch, where they pried an ATM off the wall of a drive-thru with­drawal lane. The pair drove the ATM to an iso­lated loca­tion, and made sev­eral attempts to get the cash out. More than 12 hours after the ini­tial theft, cops spot­ted them at a nearby house, still work­ing at their with­drawal. All told, they caused about a thou­sand dol­lars in damage.


Police say a would-be bur­glar was halted by unlikely obsta­cles — win­dow blinds.  KRQE-TV reports that police found Thomas Molina tan­gled in some win­dow blinds at Cen­tral New Mex­ico Com­mu­nity Col­lege in Albu­querque after police received a call about a break-in. Police say the 38-year-old Molina told police he was look­ing for com­puter hard­ware. Molina was arrested and charged with bur­glary and break­ing and enter­ing. He is being held on a $10,000 bond.

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