Tuesday 9/18

Ger­rman monk is prob­a­bly think­ing that now might be a good time to take a vow of silence. It’s a lot eas­ier than hav­ing to answer ques­tions about why he was found stum­bling through a for­est naked. A hiker near the Aus­trian bor­der called police and reported a dis­ori­ented naked man act­ing strangely in the woods. Author­i­ties arrived and brought him to the hos­pi­tal – where he was iden­ti­fied as a monk from a nearby town. The man appar­ently wan­dered off from his camp­ing ground, ate some hal­lu­cino­genic berries and got lost.

A wanted sex offender in Vir­ginia was on the run from cops until his girl­friend inad­ver­tently led cops right to him. The Tazewell County Sheriff’s Office was search­ing for the 29-year-old man. They were also keep­ing their Face­book page updated, when they sud­denly real­ized that their most recent “Like” was from the creep’s girl­friend. And along with her “Like” was her loca­tion. Cops imme­di­ately tracked them down and arrested both of them.

A Florida man gave new mean­ing to the phrase “hot pants” when he was caught burn­ing the pack­ag­ing off items at a depart­ment store and shov­ing the goods into his trousers. Byron Har­vey was nabbed by cops who dis­cov­ered about $450 worth of stuff, includ­ing shoes, hats, cologne and a watch, tucked into his shorts. They also found some uniden­ti­fied pre­scrip­tion drugs, which Har­vey said belonged to his girl­friend, who often wears his pants. Har­vey became com­bat­ive with arrest­ing offi­cers, but soon lost steam, con­fess­ing he’d been up for three days “drink­ing and doing pow­der and pills.”

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