Undressed to unimpress

 A detective in New Jersey’s Andover Township received a text on his new cell phone: Hey, it asked, want to buy a quarter-pound of pot?  Well, sure, replied the detective, who then set up a rendezvous. The would-be seller smelled a rat upon arrival and fled, but police soon confiscated four bags of marijuana from his vehicle. Nicholas Delear (yep, his real last name), 33, now faces a slew of drug charges in whatmight be the easiest bust of the year.

Minnesota Cops found Deaaron Hearn passed out on a bench on a Iowa City pedestrian mall and when they tried to rouse him, they found him unsteady on his feet and smelling strongly of booze. When they requested he show some identification, he tried to hand them cash instead – which they did not take, instead suggesting he call a friend for a ride home. Instead of dialing his cell, Hearn pulled the 20 out of his wallet and began a conversation, treating it as if it were a phone.  A “call” that earned him a trip to the local precinct.

car clumpFlorida woman Karen Worley Drake was discovered by a patrolman who saw her Hyundai pulled onto the shoulder of a busy road with the lights off. He peered inside and saw her slumped over, accompanied by her dog. He tapped on the window until she awoke and discovered she was sans pants. Drake initially denied having anything to drink, but eventually admitted to downing two shots of “fireball whiskey.” The arresting officer also spotted an empty box of wine on the seat next to her which led him to believe that’s what caused her to remove them…after she peed in them.

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