Undressed to unimpress

 A detec­tive in New Jersey’s Andover Town­ship received a text on his new cell phone: Hey, it asked, want to buy a quarter-pound of pot?  Well, sure, replied the detec­tive, who then set up a ren­dezvous. The would-be seller smelled a rat upon arrival and fled, but police soon con­fis­cated four bags of mar­i­juana from his vehi­cle. Nicholas Delear (yep, his real last name), 33, now faces a slew of drug charges in what­might be the eas­i­est bust of the year.

Min­nesota Cops found Deaaron Hearn passed out on a bench on a Iowa City pedes­trian mall and when they tried to rouse him, they found him unsteady on his feet and smelling strongly of booze. When they requested he show some iden­ti­fi­ca­tion, he tried to hand them cash instead – which they did not take, instead sug­gest­ing he call a friend for a ride home. Instead of dial­ing his cell, Hearn pulled the 20 out of his wal­let and began a con­ver­sa­tion, treat­ing it as if it were a phone.  A “call” that earned him a trip to the local precinct.

car clumpFlorida woman Karen Wor­ley Drake was dis­cov­ered by a patrol­man who saw her Hyundai pulled onto the shoul­der of a busy road with the lights off. He peered inside and saw her slumped over, accom­pa­nied by her dog. He tapped on the win­dow until she awoke and dis­cov­ered she was sans pants. Drake ini­tially denied hav­ing any­thing to drink, but even­tu­ally admit­ted to down­ing two shots of “fire­ball whiskey.” The arrest­ing offi­cer also spot­ted an empty box of wine on the seat next to her which led him to believe that’s what caused her to remove them…after she peed in them.

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