Wedesday 8/29

Clayton Joseph Schwey repeatedly demanded freebies from a Florida Dunkin’ Donuts shop, claiming that he was entitled to the goods as a condition of his gig with the DEA. When asked for some identification to back up his claim, he insisted he wasn’t allowed to carry any thanks to the sensitive nature of his work — investigating crooked cops in the area. The mental munchkin was quickly arrested and is being held without bail.

While they say duct tape can do just about anything, there’s one thing it’s not all that great for — as a Washington state bank robber found out by donning a disguise that consisted of one strip of the stuff across his nose. The crook held up three banks while carrying a handgun and wearing a wide strip of duct tape across the bridge of his nose. He assaulted a customer and an employee at one of the banks, and was captured on videotape at all of them.

A Texas woman learned that her aim really stinks after trying to shoot a skunk in her yard.  The woman was ticked off at the skunk for eating food out of the bowls she and her hubby leave out for their pet cats. So she grabbed a handgun out of her purse and fired off a round which ricocheted off the porch, through the screen door and into the lower abdomen of her husband!  He wasn’t badly hurt, and both husband and wife reportedly cooperated with cops in the investigation — as did the skunk. A police source says, “He actually came back while our investigators were at the scene and tried to feed again off the cat bowls. We chased it off.”

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Unknown source