Wednesday 1/4

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Tickle in your throat? - Ronald Ball says he got vio­lently ill after just a few sips of his Moun­tain Dew, so he poured out the remain­der, allegedly jar­ring a mouse out of its watery house. The com­pany agreed to exam­ine the dead ani­mal, but when Ball called to check on the progress, he was told its remains had been destroyed, lead­ing him to sue. Pepsi has moved to dis­miss the suit, say­ing that the cor­ro­sive soda would have turned the crea­ture into “mouse jelly” or dis­solved it alto­gether within days, so it couldn’t have sick­ened Ball. Either way, this is not good news.

It was an emer­gency! - That excuse might some­times get you out of a speed­ing ticket, but Hubert Lee Credit couldn’t jus­tify allegedly steal­ing an ambu­lance to drive him­self to the hos­pi­tal. The 39-year-old told Tampa police “I got beat up by four guys,” accord­ing to the Tampa Bay Times. Credit, which had a punc­ture wound to the head, didn’t get far. Author­i­ties pulled him over just a mile away, using GPS. As for the man for whom the ambu­lance was intended, the Cri­sis Cen­ter of Tampa Bay dis­patched another emer­gency crew, and he received treatment.

Lazy Money - Police say aNorth Car­olina man insisted his million-dollar note was real when he was buy­ing $476 worth of items at a Wal­mart.  Inves­ti­ga­tors told the Winston-Salem Jour­nal that 53-year-old Michael Fuller tried to buy a vac­uum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items. Store employ­ees called police after his insis­tence that the bill was legit, and Fuller was arrested. Fuller should have done his home­work because the largest bill in cir­cu­la­tion is $100.

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