Wednesday 1/4

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Tickle in your throat? – Ronald Ball says he got violently ill after just a few sips of his Mountain Dew, so he poured out the remainder, allegedly jarring a mouse out of its watery house. The company agreed to examine the dead animal, but when Ball called to check on the progress, he was told its remains had been destroyed, leading him to sue. Pepsi has moved to dismiss the suit, saying that the corrosive soda would have turned the creature into “mouse jelly” or dissolved it altogether within days, so it couldn’t have sickened Ball. Either way, this is not good news.

It was an emergency! – That excuse might sometimes get you out of a speeding ticket, but Hubert Lee Credit couldn’t justify allegedly stealing an ambulance to drive himself to the hospital. The 39-year-old told Tampa police “I got beat up by four guys,” according to the Tampa Bay Times. Credit, which had a puncture wound to the head, didn’t get far. Authorities pulled him over just a mile away, using GPS. As for the man for whom the ambulance was intended, the Crisis Center of Tampa Bay dispatched another emergency crew, and he received treatment.

Lazy Money – Police say aNorth Carolina man insisted his million-dollar note was real when he was buying $476 worth of items at a Walmart.  Investigators told the Winston-Salem Journal that 53-year-old Michael Fuller tried to buy a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other items. Store employees called police after his insistence that the bill was legit, and Fuller was arrested. Fuller should have done his homework because the largest bill in circulation is $100.

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