Wednesday 2/8


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YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT STICK-UP?

A Cal­i­for­nia crook ended up behind bars after try­ing to rob a local bank by say­ing he had a bomb — when he only had a cho­les­terol bomb!

Daniel Heg­wood walked into the Wells Fargo branch car­ry­ing a bag that he claimed con­tained a bomb. He demanded and received cash, then fled, leav­ing the pack­age– which a bomb squad inves­ti­ga­tor deter­mined con­tained two McDonald’s apple pies.

Cops tracked him down in a nearby park­ing lot, at which point he insisted the bomb was actu­ally in his back­pack — which turned out to con­tain noth­ing more than the cash he’d stolen from the bank.

 

LIKE FATHERHIC! … LIKE SON

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree — espe­cially when it’s soaked in booze. That’s the mes­sage sent by a Penn­syl­va­nia man who was busted on a DUI charge — as he was going to post bail for his son, who was being held for dri­ving while intoxicated.

Tim­o­thy Smith drove about 10 miles to pick up his son, whose name was not released. While he was prepar­ing to fork over the bail money to spring the younger Smith, a trooper noticed a strong smell of alco­hol and informed him he’d be join­ing his son behind bars.

Fit­ting, since he’d appar­ently joined him inside bars in the past.

 

FAST CAR, SLOW WIT

A Mon­tana man has been hit with a $1,000 fine after lead­ing police on a high speed chase — just for the heck of it.

John Hughes tail­gated a police cruiser for about seven blocks in order to get the atten­tion of the deputy inside, then pulled around and took off — get­ting up to 100 miles per hour at his peak. The cop gave chase on the inter­state for the bet­ter part of an hour before Hughes’ car was dis­abled by a spike strip.

When asked what the whole thing was about, Hughes replied, “I just always wanted to do that.”

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