Wednesday 5/9

A Minnesota man may have thought he was king of the jungle, but he ended up swinging right into a jail cell after cops busted him for cursing out neighbors as he mowed his lawn … wearing nothing but a revealing loincloth. One of Matthew Swanson’s neighbors called police after the man allegedly exposed himself while doing his landscaping work — and when officers arrived, he went ballistic, screaming obscenities at them and some children who were playing nearby. Earlier in the day, Swanson supposedly called 911 himself, purely to pepper dispatchers with four letter words.

 Neither rain nor snow nor dark of night could keep aLouisiana man from running over his neighbors’ mailboxes for kicks.  Matthew Burghardt initially came to the attention of cops after his next door neighbor called cops to say that she’d just seen him topple her mailbox — and she recognized him perfectly well, since they’d lived side by side for 15 years. As they were talking, another deputy swung by the scene to say he was investigating a handful of reports of downed boxes as well. When questioned, Burghardt didn’t deny the action, but simply said he didn’t know there was a law against it. He demanded a written summons, but instead got hauled off to jail.

There are drunk dads who designate their not-yet-10-year-olds as designated drivers … and then there are men who just strap their kids to the hood and hit the open road. That’s exactly what happened inFort Wayne,Indiana, say police, who were alerted by a witness who saw a man and woman tie the kids down and drive off, reports the Journal Gazette. Where did they depart from? Why a liquor store, of course! How far did they make it? About three blocks, before aUSMarshal spotted the car adorned with the kids, ages 4, 5, 6, and 7. The unnamed man was arrested on suspicion of DUI, and the woman was taken in for questioning.

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