Wednesday 8/1

Edin­burgh col­lege pro­fes­sor Gavin Brad­ford was deemed “unfit to teach” by Scotland’s Gen­eral Teach­ing Coun­cil after allegedly ask­ing a female stu­dent to shove a pie down his pants!  With fur­ther inves­ti­ga­tion, the Coun­cil dis­cov­ered that the 37-year-old had a his­tory of inap­pro­pri­ate behav­ior with female stu­dents. While work­ing at a col­lege in Ontario, via web­cam he was said to have asked more than 20 female col­lege stu­dents to smear them­selves in ketchup and eggs and pour sour milk into their under­wear. Brad­ford didn’t show up to his hearing.

Police believe a woman hit the gas instead of the brake as she left a New Jer­sey car wash, send­ing her vehi­cle into a river. An employee and a cus­tomer at Spot­less Auto Laun­dry jumped into the Hack­en­sack River to res­cue the woman. They man­aged to get the woman out through the win­dow. A tow truck retrieved the vehi­cle and the woman was treated at a hos­pi­tal for minor injuries.

A Florida man who was try­ing to prove his pock­ets were empty proved the same about his head when he spilled cocaine on the ground while show­ing cops he wasn’t car­ry­ing any drugs. Her­mino Hurtado-Resendez was stopped by police respond­ing to reports of a drug dealer con­duct­ing busi­ness on the grounds of a bar in Fort Wal­ton Beach. While being ques­tioned, he claimed inno­cence, and decided to prove it by putting his hands in his pock­ets and turn­ing them inside out, drop­ping bag­gies of the drug on the floor in the process. Cops imme­di­ately booked the man on charges of pos­ses­sion of a con­trolled sub­stance … and hav­ing an incred­i­bly bad memory.

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