Wee Wee Wee

El Paso police said a woman arrived home and followed the sound of running water to her bathroom, where she discovered Hector Sanchez, 41, dancing nude.  Police said Sanchez, who the woman said she had never met before, refused repeated orders to exit the home. Officers said they found Sanchez lying nude on a bed. Sanchez, who was allegedly drunk, was taken to the El Paso County jail on allegations of criminal trespass and criminal mischief. His bond was set at $2,500.

Cigar cutterA New Mexico man established himself as a shoe-in for worst boyfriend of the year by trying to cut one of his former girlfriend’s toes off with a cigar cutter – just months after biting off a piece of a different “little piggie” in a different incident! Daniel Anaya, who was fired from his gig as a shoe salesman following the first foot fault, caught up with his ex despite the fact that she’d moved to another city to ditch him – and gotten a restraining order along the way. The woman, whose name was not released, managed to avoid injury by fighting Anaya off with a barbecue fork, inflicting a wound bad enough to send him to the emergency room – where he was arrested.

For one Florida man, the time was right for dancing in the streets – after he crashed his car and jumped out stark naked to show off his moves in the middle of a busy road. Felix Lockett plowed his vehicle into a wall before performing his un-requested strip tease, and told officers that he was under the influence – a fact that became extra clear when responders began feeling ill due to the fumes emanating from the man’s wrecked car. Lockett explained that he’d been consuming a concoction of marijuana and formaldehyde before the accident, which broke the bottle, sending toxic fumes into the atmosphere. It’s unclear whether Lockett will face charges for the crash, the alleged indecency or the chemicals … or a nice combo platter featuring all three.

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