What a tool!

A Pol­ish man appar­ently fell and lost con­scious­ness.  When he regained con­scious­ness he was at first aware only of pain in a hand before real­iz­ing some­thing else was wrong. He walked to his car, looked in a mir­ror and noticed the screw­driver, pen­e­trat­ing his fore­head, 2 inches in, just above his right eye. The man then smoked a cig­a­rette before call­ing a neigh­bor who got him to the hos­pi­tal. The screw­driver did not dam­age the man’s eyes or brain.

Matthew Maleski, 32, was fired Tues­day from his teach­ing posi­tion after another teacher in the spe­cial edu­ca­tion depart­ment found emails that con­tained pho­tos of Maleski shirt­less in an account teach­ers shared for the pur­pose of com­mu­ni­cat­ing with par­ents! Maleski — a for­mer male model before he became a teacher, said he used an email appli­ca­tion on his phone that syncs up mul­ti­ple accounts and didn’t real­ize oth­ers with access to the school account could see his other per­sonal emails that he used to get “hook ups” from Craigslist.   No inap­pro­pri­ate emails were sent to par­ents or teach­ers, the report said.

 screwdriver in headWis­con­sin man Jarad Carr got him­self into a jam when he tried to get a refund for a printer.  Sounds legit…until they opened up the printer and saw a sheet of coun­ter­feit money he had copied was still inside! When a man­ager qui­etly called cops about the mat­ter, Carr tried to bolt, but was restrained and found to have a cou­ple of phony 100-dollar bills in his wal­let.  Carr, who threat­ened offi­cers at the scene, was charged with fraud, forgery and resist­ing arrest.

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