Whatever floats your rubber boat

An Ohio man is behind bars for the third time in four years after try­ing to float his boat by get­ting busy with a neighbor’s pool float! Edwin Raft loveTobertga, who’d been out of jail for less than a month after serv­ing sev­eral months for get­ting ras­cally with a raft in a stranger’s back­yard, was caught in the act again when some­one spot­ted him with a piece of bright pink pool fur­ni­ture. He had pre­vi­ously been nabbed for the same offense in 2011, nine years after he got spooky and kooky with an inflat­able lawn pump­kin around Hal­loween of 2002. In his most recent mugshot, Tobergta is wear­ing a T-shirt read­ing, “I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message.

A teenager in Alabama, Marisa Williams’ started chat­ting up a guy named Tre “Top Dog” Ellis on face­book. Lit­tle did Williams know but her aunt had set up the fake account under that name to spy on her because she sus­pected of get­ting a lit­tle too friendly with strange men she met online. The aunt, whose name was not released, offered to pay her cell phone bill in exchange for sex­ual favors and then the girl took things one step fur­ther, sug­gest­ing they kill the aunt, as well as her fiancé and her dog! Marisa’s aunt called cops in at that point, but when she was inter­viewed by deputies, Williams apol­o­gized and said she was only kid­ding about the whole murder-for-hire thing.
Cherelle LaGrou, who is work­ing at a lodge in Alaska this sum­mer, had called her mother Shelly because she was ner­vous about the slip­pery and unfa­mil­iar ter­rain she was hik­ing. This was the first time she went hik­ing alone and after hear­ing Cherelle scream and fall 30 feet, Shelly didn’t hear any­thing but silence for a while. Even­tu­ally, Cherelle came back on the line but reported she couldn’t move. “She said she did not want to die,” Shelly said. The Alaska State Troop­ers were noti­fied of the sit­u­a­tion and arrived on the scene after about 15 min­utes. The cell­phone bat­tery even­tu­ally died, so Shelly didn’t know what had hap­pened until she received a phone call about 45 min­utes later after troop­ers had res­cued her daughter.

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