Whip it good

Con­necti­cut man Joseph McCaf­frey told the Nor­walk Hour he was read­ing the paper when he spot­ted the oddly shaped blob of ink in the movie sec­tion and showed it to his wife, Wendy. And she shouted, ‘It’s Jesus!’ “McCaf­frey said he showed the image to many of his friends to see if they reached the same con­clu­sion as he and his wife. “But, if Jesus is really try­ing to send me a mes­sage, I wish he popped up in the lotto sec­tion instead. Does he want me to see a movie?”

man eating whipped cream30-year-old Trevor Run­yon decided to go on a binge inside a Val­uMar­ket after hours.  The man­ager of a Val­uMar­ket says he found 57 empty whipped cream cans in the garbage when he arrived Mon­day morn­ing and sur­veil­lance video from the store showed that Run­yon cooked and ate six steaks, washed them down with beer and then topped off his meal with shrimp and birth­day cake. 30-year-old Trevor Run­yon was charged after he was found in the ceil­ing of the store. We’re sur­prised he didn’t fall through the ceil­ing after eat­ing that feast!  Police say Run­yon slipped into the store and hid while employ­ees closed it for the night..

There are many ways to tell if a man is dead. You could look for a pulse. You could check to see if he’s breath­ing. You could even just ask, “Hey, man, are you dead?” The fam­ily and friends of 34-year-old Dama Zan­the of Zim­babwe didn’t think to do any of these things.  Instead they went with their assump­tion and came very close to bury­ing him. As mourn­ers filed past the man’s cof­fin, one of his friends noticed his legs were mov­ing. He quickly called an ambu­lance, which took Zan­the to a hos­pi­tal where he was pro­nounced not dead. Accord­ing to Zan­the, he is still very much alive and doing well. He must be very tired, though, as we’d imag­ine he’d be too afraid to go to sleep.

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