Your $$ is no good here. Or anywhere.

After a fairly inexpensive lunch at Applebee’s Michael Williams‘ debit card was refused.  Instead of OneTrillionDollarBillTJ6leaving his id behind and grabbing some cash from an ATM Michael thought that handing the cashier some counterfeit cash would take care of it. He may have gotten away with it if it had been a $50 or $100 bill.  However, he decided to whip out a trillion dollar bill instead. Now, either the waitress was doubtful of the authenticity of the bill or doubtful that a trillionaire would actually eat at Applebee’s, but she decided to call the police. Cops arrived and arrested Williams on an unrelated contempt of court charge. He was fined $262.  Hopefully he’ll pay with real money.

An Oklahoma man had a “ruff” time believing his bad luck when cops called him to fetch his pickup truck after it had been wrecked during a joyride – taken by his two dogs!  The dogs’ owner, who was identified only as Scott, left Roscoe and Luna in his vehicle while he made a quick pit stop at a friend’s house, but when he came out, the truck was nowhere to be seen. He initially thought he might’ve been towed, but got an eyewitness report that one of the pooches managed to put the truck in gear and roll it towards the banks of the Arkansas River. Since no one was hurt in the incident, cops called off the dogs and declined to press charges.

Police in a northern province of India were able to find the killer of a woman and her dog after getting a tip from a little bird – the deceased lady’s pet parrot. Neelam Sharma’s husband found her and her pooch slain and their house ransacked, with the panicked parrot the only witness. The bird didn’t say a word at first, but when the couple’s nephew came to pay his respects, it freaked out and started squawking, which raised suspicions all around. One report said that the critter squawked “He’s the killer, he’s the killer,” in Hindi. The nephew couldn’t fly the coop and ended up confessing to the crime.


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