Your $$ is no good here. Or anywhere.

After a fairly inex­pen­sive lunch at Applebee’s Michael Williams’ debit card was refused.  Instead of OneTrillionDollarBillTJ6leav­ing his id behind and grab­bing some cash from an ATM Michael thought that hand­ing the cashier some coun­ter­feit cash would take care of it. He may have got­ten away with it if it had been a $50 or $100 bill.  How­ever, he decided to whip out a tril­lion dol­lar bill instead. Now, either the wait­ress was doubt­ful of the authen­tic­ity of the bill or doubt­ful that a tril­lion­aire would actu­ally eat at Applebee’s, but she decided to call the police. Cops arrived and arrested Williams on an unre­lated con­tempt of court charge. He was fined $262.  Hope­fully he’ll pay with real money.

An Okla­homa man had a “ruff” time believ­ing his bad luck when cops called him to fetch his pickup truck after it had been wrecked dur­ing a joyride – taken by his two dogs!  The dogs’ owner, who was iden­ti­fied only as Scott, left Roscoe and Luna in his vehi­cle while he made a quick pit stop at a friend’s house, but when he came out, the truck was nowhere to be seen. He ini­tially thought he might’ve been towed, but got an eye­wit­ness report that one of the pooches man­aged to put the truck in gear and roll it towards the banks of the Arkansas River. Since no one was hurt in the inci­dent, cops called off the dogs and declined to press charges.

Police in a north­ern province of India were able to find the killer of a woman and her dog after get­ting a tip from a lit­tle bird – the deceased lady’s pet par­rot. Nee­lam Sharma’s hus­band found her and her pooch slain and their house ran­sacked, with the pan­icked par­rot the only wit­ness. The bird didn’t say a word at first, but when the couple’s nephew came to pay his respects, it freaked out and started squawk­ing, which raised sus­pi­cions all around. One report said that the crit­ter squawked “He’s the killer, he’s the killer,” in Hindi. The nephew couldn’t fly the coop and ended up con­fess­ing to the crime.


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